It may seem obvious to say such a thing, but even the best mental health treatment will not make you happy all the time. We all know that there is illness and loss and grief and financial stress and worry about our children’s, parents’ and other loved ones’ well-beings.
But there is also everyday tedium - in attending to daily chores and errands, in our commutes and in our jobs. Thus far, I have met no one who has said that their job is enjoyable 100% of the time. In point of fact, most people find aspects of their job tedious every single day they work:
Many of us say “once I get my dream job / dream partner / dream financial situation, I’ll be perfectly happy.” Or we may just envision ourselves gleefully skipping through the day once that ideal situation is achieved. But it never happens. Even when our situation improves and we have gratitude for that change, we inevitably return to our resting state of discontent. Those improvements may continue to enhance our quality of life but we stop appreciating then as we have more time to focus on other imperfect aspects of our lives. Can we ever be satisfied?
Not if we are expecting no tedium, no annoyance, no fatigue and no stress. We are told by advertising, social media posts and self-help books that there is attainable perfect, constant happiness. What if there isn’t? Does that negate the joy you feel watching your child taking her first steps, or being in the arms of your partner or accomplishing something notable in your work, or being on vacation on a tropical beach?
Perhaps it is better to expect and to accept the frustrating aspects of daily life, punctuated by moments of pure joy. Perhaps we can find more moments of pure joy if we take some attention away from our frustrations.
Make sure you are not throwing kindling on the flames of your discontent by recalling it and bemoaning that not everything was perfect today (yet again.)